Art and money aren't easy bedfellows the qualities of each contradict the other. Creative expression is meaningful, worthy and progressive whilst the pursuit of financial gain is businesslike, rational and seen by many as superficial. This friction between the two is a central theme in David Williamson's 'Up For Grabs' and Madonna in the lead role deepens the uneasiness still further. Here is one of the richest and most influential women in the world, but despite her catchy tunes and slick videos is she a true artist? For all her fame and success this material girl is just that, yet still strives to be taken seriously as an actress. Can she overcome her status and make us believe that we're in the presence of art? The simple answer is 'no'. Before she even opens her mouth the audience roars, she acknowledges (her first mistake) and it's clear that we're the willing participants in the machine that creates Madonna the icon, but not Madonna the actress. 
      As the play unfolds it becomes increasingly difficult to accept her as Loren: a naïve, desperate art dealer who is forced to play three bidders off against each other to secure an overpriced $20 million for a Pollock. Her marriage and career depend on it, and she'll go to any lengths (including lesbian sex and an encounter with a giant dildo) to secure the price. But she doesn't convince. It's not that she's terrible she has a child-like and endearing quality with a quiet little voice, but these do not an actress make .Her failings are magnified by the rest of the brilliant cast. Tom Irwin is particularly strong as her psychiatrist husband, Gerry. Megan Dodds plays Mindy, the dot.com millionaire and potential bidder with warmth and vulnerability and Sian Thomas as Dawn, the corporate bidder with a taste for revenge is laugh-out-loud funny. It's difficult not to compare Madonna with the rest of the cast (she sets herself up for it) and the real actors all possess something that she can only strive for a belief in and commitment to their role. They live in and inhabit their characters, making them full and real people, whilst Loren is one-dimensional. Mrs Ritchie, not so much expressing herself, but play-acting. 
      Williamson's work is entertaining, amusing and smooth but he explores his theme parrot fashion. There are no original thoughts and he doesn't push any boundaries. The real nub of the show is Madonna and our obsession with fame and celebrity. Here is a play about buying and selling 'beauty'; art as a commodity; a fashion statement and a status symbol - the very things that have turned Madonna into a brand and have given her the power to put herself on a West End stage. But, ultimately, neither she nor the play can overcome the opposites of art and money. With all the bums on seats at the Wyndhams it is clear that, this time, the latter has won. Sadly, the biggest star of our times can't make the people come together.
Loma-Ann Bonner